20th May 2013

Last weekend was the Eurovision Song Contest, so we had a party to watch some men and women dressed as Christmas trees sing on the TV. So to pay homage to that glittering array of campness, I decided to review a couple of beers from two of Europe's powerhouse beer countries.

Hacker-Pschorr Weisse (Germany)

Oh no. I had started to like wheat beers, but I think this one was just a bit too wheaty for me. The taste reminded of a time a few years ago when I mowed the lawn at my mum's house, and left a pile of wet grass to rot for a couple of weeks. It smells and tastes like it might have been poisonous. But I'm still alive, and only one piss smelled like corn flakes.

St. Bernardus Wit (Belgium)

This one looks like Fanta, tastes a little bit like orangey too. It's also girlfriend-proof, because she doesn't like it. And I can definitely understand why. One time I accidentally drank some orange juice that had gone about a month passed its use by date (I had wondered why it was fizzy, but paid it no further mind) The taste was such a shock that I almost vomited, but managed to restrict it to a few minutes of dry-heaving. This brought that traumatuc experience back to me.Having said all that, the rapping pope on the bottle might like this beer. Although you probably won't.